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They don't make 'em like they used to (thank Christ).

Posted by Spanner on Aug 4, 2010 15:54 (Aug 4, 2010 15:54)

We're all here at Retro Fusion because we're happily stuck in the past, but do you know what I really miss - possibly even more than 8-bit graphics? Going to the video shop on Saturdays.

There's just no need any more, what Sky Digi-cul, XBL, PSN, NetFlix, postal rentals and thieving stuff off of the internet, and I passionately miss browsing the shelves of tattered VHS boxes hoping the latest blockbuster will still "be in", and then settling for last year's blockbuster instead or, as was often the case for me, grabbing a horribly cheeseball b-movie horror or ninja film.

I grew to love those low budget horror and action cult classics. It's how I was introduced to Troma, Jackie Chan, Sho Kosugi and cheap, cheerful distributors like Empire International.

Even more than the video shop itself, I miss watching the trailers at the beginning of the main feature. The tapes were usually pretty crumpled through the trailers, what with so many people fast forwarding through them and not rewinding the tapes properly, but it was here that you found out about the new b-movies pouring out of east Los Angeles, New York and Hong Kong.

And since it's a slow retro news day, I decided to share some of the best with you, in no particular order. A look back at the lost art of the cheesy trailer, in the hope that it brings a solitary tear to your cheek in remembrance of our beloved home videos.

Eliminators, 1986: Riding the back end of the early 80s sci-fi craze, Eliminators is at the top of our "so bad it's good" list. Notice the early appearance of Denise Crosby, a year before she took flight on the Star Ship Enterprise in Next Generation.

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#9 Aug 17, 2010 13:07:03 ( Aug 17, 2010 13:07 )

Lol, Eliminators trailer is awesome. "I saw this in a movie once" seems to be referencing From Russia with Love.
#8 Aug 9, 2010 10:36:39 ( Aug 9, 2010 10:36 )

 Hehe..I used to love watching all the old trailers too! And the films when possible...stuff like Star Crash,The Thing With Two Heads and The Gate were awesome...
#7 Aug 6, 2010 00:23:53 ( Aug 6, 2010 00:23 )

 sorry! I meant I was wanting zone troopers also but they never had it
#6 Aug 6, 2010 00:11:38 ( Aug 6, 2010 00:11 )

 Well, this sure is creepy.  But last night I bought zone troopers, The Stuff and Elimanators on amazon last night!
#5 Aug 5, 2010 21:35:48 ( Aug 5, 2010 21:35 )

I know
#4 Aug 5, 2010 21:15:28 ( Aug 5, 2010 21:15 )

leviathan had peter weller in it as well koops!
#3 Aug 5, 2010 12:53:48 ( Aug 5, 2010 12:53 )

The 80s, a true graveyard of cheese and onion horror/sci fi - all genius:
Arena, Deepstar Six, Leviathan, Brain Damage (a personal fave), Evil Dead II, Class of 1999, That moon/bermuda triangle film with Chekov out of star trek in, Of unkown origin (a craptacula rat attack film with Peter 'robocop' Weller in), there are too many to list here and I love them all
#2 Aug 5, 2010 12:05:26 ( Aug 5, 2010 12:05 )

I'm sorry but this article WILL NOT get a 10 rating from me UNLESS the mighty C.H.U.D trailer is included it is the single greatest trailer of all time! Just how many times can you get the word CHUD into 1m34s??? total aceness! The film is awesome too
#1 Aug 5, 2010 00:02:43 ( Aug 5, 2010 00:02 )

haha I love it!  Seen a few of them, I loved Robot Jox and Arena, quality films!
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