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Your favourite 8-bit magazine..
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22 Votes - 2 Comments
- Going Outside: Interesting things can happen should you ever venture out into the terrifying ‘real world’.For example, you could go into a shop. If it’s a computer game shop, be aware that any drones who work there won’t know ...

Posted by boyo on May 9, 2011 19:19 (May 9, 2011 19:19)

- Going Outside: Interesting things can happen should you ever venture out into the terrifying ‘real world’.

For example, you could go into a shop. If it’s a computer game shop, be aware that any drones who work there won’t know anything about proper games. You could spend some time educating them about such matters, like how their shelves are full of old wank and their lives up to the point you entered the shop were meaningless.

To finish, you could pull out one of their many piercings and jam it in an Xbox.

- Binge Drinking: This popular pass time can be done in a pub, on a park bench or on the wall outside Tescos.

Try mixing different drinks and observe how your moods and actions differ depending on particular boozes. Remember to educate non-Spec-chums on the importance of being a Spectrum owner and become their best mate in the world.

This pastime has the added benefit of re-enthusing you about old games you haven’t played for ages and helps you to break things around the house without any effort.

- War: Many of the ‘wars’ featured in your favourite Speccy games are real. You could make use of your extensive, practical knowledge of ‘war’ out on the streets.

Go outside (see above for details) and decide who the enemy is. Your years of practice on the Speccy will ensure your decision is accurate.

Consider which type of war you will be enacting (as war can be a diverse hobby) and formulate an appropriate strategy.

For example, if you are protecting your government’s oil interests, you will want to observe the ‘enemy’, ensuring you have vastly superior weapons and attack them from a safe distance.

If it is a gang war, try to surround yourself with as many opposing gang members as possible and systematically thrash them.

- Sticking Your Thumb Into Things: Like many Speccy games, this may initially seem like a limited, unimpressive pastime. However, with perseverance, you will realise it is only limited by your imagination.

The other three things you can do without a Spectrum (listed above) can be incorporated into this hobby. For example:
  • Try going back to the computer shop and putting you thumb into the shop assistants eye.
  • You could go binge drinking inside Tescos and put your thumb into their fine food produce.
  • Have a thumb war with a war veteran in the War Memorial Park on Warr Lane in Warsall.
  • Afterwards, you could go home and stick your thumb in the Kempston port on your Spectrum.
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